I feel a bit lost

I should be full of energy and raring to go this morning, but no.  I'm really not sure what I should do with myself.  Let's say I'm a bit confused and stymied.

For example, at the end of March, I could leave for the West and start building some quonsets, as I have written about.  But I hesitate to do that because I don't want to build anything that I am not committed to staying with.  If they don't stay up, then what's the point?  So, that has me stymied for the moment.

But I don't want to stay here either.  I have to decide within the next two months to give notice.  I've given one month notice on the job.  Now, at the end of April, I have to give one month notice of vacating the place.

I figure I need to work because I don't expect to be able to raise enough food to sell.  It would be a challenge to raise enough to live on.  No other prospects for earning money out there seem plausible.

I could look for work in El Paso, but there's no guarantee that this will be successful.  I could be locked into a lease there, and not be able to get out in a year.

Hoo boy.  I've got some big decisions to make.

Update ( Sunday 1:55 pm)

If I could convince just one person who had some money and could share expenses, and go in with me.  Well, Wishbone is out.  He has always been critical of what I'm trying to do.  Even if I did some dumb stuff to accommodate him, he still won't go along.  There won't be any begging, and there won't be any attempt to arm twist him.  No, I actually need an enthusiastic partner in this.  I need more than enthusiasm.  Probably some money too.  So, that pretty much leaves everybody out.  That's part of what's making me feel bummed out.