Home again, 12/22/14

One more working day before the Christmas holiday.

Today was one strange day.  A day of contrasts, you might say.  Normally, I don't write about conflicts, but this one that happened today really snuck up on me.  It didn't amount to anything, but it did occupy my thoughts for awhile, and while it did, I was shocked at what I was thinking.

Anyway, I got to the place before it opened, and I had pulled up to the dock front first, instead of backing in.  I wanted to check quickly to see if they were there, which they weren't.  I decided to go ahead and back in and wait a little while to see if they showed up.  While I was maneuvering the van, a guy popped up in my view and I hit the brakes suddenly.  Not that I was going very fast at all.  Only that the dude's presence surprised me.  I didn't expect him there.  It was still dark.  Also, I didn't even come close to hitting the dude, and even if I did, I was hardly moving at all.  I was in no hurry.  No, but this guy got mad and cussed me.  That didn't make me mad at first, but subsequently, I started thinking about it and thinking about it, and I did start to get mad.  This dude apparently worked for the business next door to the business I was delivering to.

The guy's attitude was quite belligerent.  I thought I recognized him, so I looked at him awhile after he said this.  He took that to mean that I was challenging him in some way, which at that time, wasn't even on my mind.  He said something to the effect "you wanna say something about that!?"  Again, I wasn't mad on the spot, on this occasion, I had a very long fuse.  All this time, I didn't say a friggin' word.

I waited for about 10 minutes and didn't see this dude again.  If I had, there may have been some trouble.  That's because, after I had thought about it, I decided that I didn't like his attitude.  So, I think it was a good thing I didn't see him again.  This dude planted some seeds that didn't need planting.  All I was there for was to do a delivery, not to get into an altercation.  He seemed to be turning it into something else entirely, and I do have a temper.  I CAN be provoked, but I wasn't.  At least not at first.

I remembered some times in the past when I ran into dudes like this, and I decided to forget about it.  Not before I had come back to the place later that day.  Fortunately, nothing happened, but I do come by there from time to time, and I am going to remember this.  It would be better to forget it, but something tells me that this is a guy with a rather aggressive and hostile attitude, and that is a combustible mixture with a dude like me.

This may sound like I am some sort of tough guy, or that I am "posturing".  No.  I am merely relating my temperament.  If someone starts cussing me and challenging me, I just may answer the challenge.  That's my nature.  It doesn't mean I am going to hit the dude or even say anything to him.  But if he pushes me enough, I may do the kind of things I have done in the past, when I HAVE been known to say something pretty salty in return.  And I won't back down from it, either.  So, just about anything can happen.  In my lifetime, nothing real serious.  Yet.

But it is Christmas, for heavens sake.  Not the time of year for people to be getting into fights.  So, I contrast that sentiment with what happened today and I wonder if you can really avoid trouble in this here world.  I wasn't looking for it, yet there it was.  It seemed to come to me through no effort of my own.  Again.  I'm not bad ass.  I'll probably go out of my way to avoid this character.  But there is a circumstance that can lead to an explosion if it presents itself in a way that will make me think I'll have to do something about this dude.

After reading all this, I wonder if I should even post something like this.  Someone gets the idea that they can provoke you, they just might in order to see what you may do about it.  Not a good idea to advertise a temper.  There's always somebody out there who might want to test it.

Well, I started thinking about more constructive things.  Like what I'm going to do when I get out west.  Awhile back, I was thinking of converting my van to a living quarters.  Lately, I've been discussing the trailer concepts.  Since money may be an issue, perhaps it would be wise to go back to the van concepts.  So, I started thinking about that.

One thing I found out on the last trip.  I can't sleep on that air mattress.  So, I started thinking about a hammock setup INSIDE the van.  This would require some drilling and installation of a couple of poles that would serve as ends for the hammock.

Frankly, every option seems to require a lot of work and has certain downsides.  This one could cause leaks that I'd just as soon not have.

Anyway, the contrast between thinking about problems in a constructive way and having a conflict with someone just struck me.  Here I am thinking of myself as a peaceable fella, yet I wanted to take that guy's head off.

Life is full of contradictions or maybe I am just full of it.  Nothing was going to happen and nothing will happen.  But if my thoughts were converted into actions, somebody might be in a hospital right now.  It might even be me, because I ain't no bad ass.  Bad luck not to be a bad ass, but have thoughts like one.  It's not a good mix.