Believability

I don't know if that word even exists.  Maybe I just made it up.  Or heard it somewhere before.  Yeah, that's probably it.  Well, I wanted to discuss the concept in this post.  I probably heard the concept in a special feature that you can listen to while a DVD movie plays.  The makers and actors or whoever is chosen- discuss the movie while it is being played.  One concept in making these movies seems to be the concern as to whether the viewing public will "believe" the movie or the character, or the story.

I wanted to discuss this concept with respect to this blog.  I think I may have a believability issue here with this blog.  People just don't buy into it.  So, it seems I've managed to get a few readers, but these readers are becoming fewer and fewer.  It looks like I'm losing what little audience that I had.  I don't know what is driving this feeling, because I don't think I did anything that should cause it.  In short, I don't think it is me, I think if you leave here, and don't come back, it will more about you than me.

I could continue trying to get people to believe what I'm doing here.  But I said myself that I don't drink the Kool Aid.  I'm don't think I want to sell any either.  But at some point, you have to drink a little of the Kool Aid.  "Man does not live by bread alone."  Something has to drive people onward, even if it is only faith.  I believe in what I'm doing, even if nobody else does.  So, the thing I'm saying in the previous paragraph isn't anything surprising to anyone.  If I don't believe in myself, why continue at all?  I want to continue and I have decided that I will.  That means even if I never get more than just a handful of readers here.

I will continue even if those readers only come here for amusement to laugh at the clown who is producing this nonsense.  By the way, I don't think what I'm producing is nonsense.  That would be from someone who is not friendly who would think of me.  Or someone who thinks what I write isn't worthy of respect.  But should anybody respect what I am writing?  I think I covered that already.  You don't have to believe me, you can believe what I write about.  If I cite credible people, you can believe them even if you think I'm wrong.  I'm often wrong and freely admit it.  But that doesn't come from a lack of confidence in myself.  I think that helps me be more confident.  I don't have to be perfect.  I can feel very comfortable with that.

So if you are my friend and you are reading this, I am grateful.  If you are not my friend, and you are reading this then know this: you can't touch me deep inside.  I've been through enough to know better than to allow something so trivial as a failure such as getting a popular blog going ( which by the way wasn't even my goal) -make me lose faith in what I am doing.  And by losing heart, give up.  I will continue despite your indifference or even outright hostility.  You can take that one to the bank.