Home again 2/2/15

Today was Groundhog Day.  I mentioned the movie to the dispatcher at work and she was familiar with it.  The movie is said to have a spiritual message in it.  Well, I don't know about that, but I do want to write something a little personal, and maybe spiritual, in a sense.

That "Home again" reference is also to a movie, Bladerunner, in which the character, J.F. Sebastian, has just arrived home and his "toys" greet him.  You see, J.F. lives alone with his toys.  A lonely guy, that J.F.  What about the phenomenon of loneliness?  At some level, I was admitting something that I don't always like to relate.  As I have written before, I am a private person.  I keep these things to myself, generally.  So, this is a bit out of character to write this kind of thing.

In my own case, it seems hard to make and keep friends.  So, most of the time, I am pretty much on my own.  Some life, huh?  The blog is a way to connect, but isn't really working very well.  Not that many come here, and fewer still comment, or try to develop some type of friendship.  Even if they did, I don't always respond, because that is just me being me.

See how personal I just got?  How many are willing to do that?  But does that "work"?  Or am I doing this out of a manipulation in order to get attention for myself?  I try to figure myself out, don't I?  Also, try to figure everyone else out, too, but I'm not that good at it.

Is there something about our society that encourages this kind of behavior?  Big cities are a way to be around a lot of people, but also to be anonymous.  I ought to know, because that is what I am.  I live in the big city, and I am virtually a stranger to everyone around me.  What a contradiction.

Small towns aren't so much like that.  Or maybe that's the way it usually is, but what happens when I get out to the wide open spaces, where there are few people?  Will it become easier to relate to people, or will I carry on old ways with me?

This worries me a bit.