Thursday, April 27, 2017

Two thirds of cancer treatments completed

In the beginning, this seemed like it would go on forever.  Now that the end is in sight, the time seems to have gone quickly.

How odd that is.

Funny how so much of this seems odd.  The cancer is serious.  But the treatment is painless.  You would think otherwise, but it is truly painless.  For instance, if a tooth needs to come out, you need to have it extracted.  This would naturally cause pain to have it extracted, but with anesthetic, the pain is not so bad.  However, there is still the sensation of something having happened.  When you finish with the dental work, your mouth feels different.  At least, mine did.  But this?  It is as if nothing has happened.

There does appear to be some slight difference in sensations.  My feet feel better.  For example, prior to treatments, I could not easily distinguish between hot and cold with my feet.  So, instead of using my feet to tell how hot the water was in the shower, I used my hands.  Now, I can use my feet under the faucet and tell when the water is hot enough to cause the shower to start spraying out.  You know.  You don't want to be showered with cold water.  Adjust the water temperature before letting it spray. Before this infirmity, I could use my feet so that I wouldn't have to stoop down.  But with this foot lacking in sensation, due to the cancer, I had to bend down to feel the temperature.  Now, it is back to what it was before the cancer.  That is a slight difference.  An improvement, I would say.

I have to look for improvements so I can tell my doctor.  I don't want to tell him that I feel better if I really don't. I don't want to tell anybody that I am feeling better if I don't.  So, I think I am feeling better.  But it is not dramatic.

Just as the treatment itself is not dramatic.  Yet the situation is a matter of life and death.  Without this treatment, I would die soon.  Not overtly dramatic, yet dramatic nonetheless.

How strange that is.

Unless something really dramatic happens, I will walk out of there for the last time feeling much the same as when I came in.  Yet, I am told that I will have achieved near total control over this cancer.

Perhaps some small part of it may remain.  Given how slow it grows, this is not likely to be the thing that kills me.

Yet I feel the same as before.  How strange.

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