Stream of Consciousness Post 4/26/14

I did one of these before, so what the heck, let's go for it again.  It made the "best of" list, but not exactly one of the biggees.

The thing here is that it is similar in its origin.  That last one, I got to thinking for a long time about something and then the post came together.

As I begin this morning, it has been several hours like that with me---thinking.  The thing I'm thinking about is that Whitney Houston song I wrote about a few days ago.  I asked a question in that post, but I didn't answer, although it may have appeared that I did.  The question is what is wrong with this song---Greatest Love of All.  The thing that is wrong with it is non-trivial and requires a more thoughtful answer than the snarky one I offered.

The answer is easy, the explanation for it is the hard part.

People don't like criticism.  It's a lot easier for someone to listen to somebody else criticize themselves, than to listen to somebody criticize you.  So, it is hard to listen to what a jerk you are, and it may please you to hear me describe how big a jerk I am.  It's kinda like Rodney Dangerfield.  He's in a tough neighborhood and he gets no respect.  The world is a tough place, and let me tell YOU.  I get no respect.  This is meant to be funny, but maybe it doesn't come across that way.  Pull up a YouTube video and watch Dangerfield talk like that and try to imagine me delivering that out loud and then you have what I intended.  I get no respect, it's a tough world out there.

At the risk of ripping off Dangerfield, I was born in a rough crowd.  A big family.  And I was one of the youngest.  Next to youngest.  So, you'd better have a sense of humor or you don't make it in a tough spot like that.  I still get no respect come to think of it.  That's kinda why I stopped talking to my mom a few years before she died.  But I forgave her, and now I realize she was probably right.

What does this have to do with the Whitney Houston song?  I'm getting to it.  I'm getting to it.

You have to careful how you approach people.  If you smack them upside the head, they will not like it much.  People love the praise, they hate the criticism.  They hate it even when it may do them a lot of good and they need to hear it more than they need anything else.

It's kinda like that with my mom and with a lot of other things that I've learned in life.  The tough things are often the best.  The easiest things are probably not that good.  Criticism is tough, but it may be good for you.  Praise may actually harm you even though you love it.

The thing that is wrong with Whitney Houston's song is that it is narcissism.  You may have guessed that already.  But maybe not.  Anyway, it isn't the greatest love of all, but the easiest.  And the easiest thing to do is to love yourself.  The hardest thing to do is to love someone else.  It has been in my experience at least.  That's where I'm coming from here.  Perhaps your experience is different, but it has always been hard for me.  Very, very hard.

This "love thy neighbor" stuff doesn't come naturally to me.  Come to think of it, it doesn't come naturally to anybody.  It's all a part of growing up.  A baby doesn't care about anyone but itself.  The baby will pull your hair out and not be sorry. It is easy to be a baby.  It's a lot harder to grow up.  Learning to love someone else is a lot harder than loving yourself.  Even a baby can love itself.  A child can do that.  Houston is appealing to the child inside, but that isn't growing up, it's growing down.  It is regressing back into childhood.

You see this all around you.  I drive for a living.  You see it in the way people drive.  They lack consideration for others.  They make it more dangerous and more tense that it needs to be.  Driving a car is dangerous, but people often do not treat it with the respect that it deserves.  I had a wreck once that could have killed me.  Wake up in a hospital with broken ribs and a concussion and maybe you might have more respect for the power in that car that you drive.

People go around pulling out each other's hair, in a manner of speaking, and give it no thought.  Then they are surprised when there is some road rage.  Some guy comes after them and they think--- this guy is crazy.  Yeah, but maybe you did something to him that set him off.  Chances are though, that you think you are innocent.  So much of life is like that.

In a larger sense, I think that is what is going wrong in our society.  People need to grow up. They need to listen to each other.  At least try to understand their point of view.  To do so is a sign of a civilized human being.  To not do it is a sign of an infantilized society if it becomes widespread.  I suspect that it has.

I'm not writing this because I'm sitting on my high horse telling you all what jerks you are.  I'm one of the worst offenders.  But I mean well.  But the road to hell is said to be paved with good intentions.  At least try to grow up.  Listening to songs like that do not help.