Life's Disappointments

A post that Glenn Reynolds linked to in his blog reminded me of something in my own life.

I guess I'm in that mood about now and so it is appropriate, I suspect, to relate that story to anyone who might be interested.

But there aren't that many that are interested, so that's one disappointment.  But, I digress.

The disappointment mentioned in that post was a father who wrote an email to his children which told of his disappointment in them.  You see, I can relate to that because my own mother did something like that to me.  The reaction of the children in the mentioned post was to stop being on speaking terms with their father.  I had the same reaction to what my mother said.

It seems that this criticism is not always welcomed.  Why?

In my own case, the thing that riled me up so much was that my mother did not help on the subject that she was being critical about.  Sure, she was my mother, but this was not a case of parental advice given and not taken.  What riled me is that gave no assistance whatever on that subject at all.  She wasn't offering any either.  She was just being critical.

But, on what subject?  The subject of marriage.  I never married you see.  She was disappointed in me for this and made this disappointment plain.  I didn't appreciate it one bit.   There's a lot more to this story, which I will leave out, though.  Basically, my beef with her can described as being similar to that of Lincoln with his critics- he said one has to earn their right to criticize.  On that subject, she didn't earn that right, and so I was offended.

Looking at this in a larger context, I see a lot of that in life.  There are so many who are ready, willing, and able to criticize the hell out of you.  But, when it comes to actually helping you with that in which they find fault, they are nowhere to be found.

That could also be true in politics.  If everyone would stop pointing fingers and try to find a way towards solving our mutual problems, we'd be a lot better off.  If you aren't willing to do something towards that end, you lose any credibility with your criticisms.  As Lincoln said, you have to earn that right.  Unless you earn it, you will not likely meet with receptive ears.