Don't be a wanker

I got a good laugh out of that expression when it was being used in a conversation recently.  But what makes a thing funny is the degree of truth in it.

So, it raises a serious question.  What does all of this really accomplish?  I am referring to everything that I am doing right now, including this here blog.

Well, let's look over the "accomplishments".  Almost a half-million pageviews, over 11k posts, not nearly all that many comments ( over 300 including a great deal written by me ), over a period of more than seven years.

That's the blog.  In comparison to other blogs, not that hot.  But better than nothing.

I've gotten 3 1/2 years paid off of my property out west.  I have practiced the hell out of my severe conservation techniques for preparations for living in the desert.  I am sure I can subsist off of five gallons of water per day.  Not so sure about the electricity, maybe under 3 kwh per day.  Not real sure about my power generation system that I will use.  Don't have a shelter up.  Don't have a septic system, which is required by state law and the terms of sale.

The big hangup now is money.

I could put the costs of the thing on credit, it is the paying off of the debt that is the trouble.  But as of now, I still have good credit.  That counts for something.

I have a trailer, but I don't know if I want to use it out there.

In short, I could be positioned to make the leap any time I want.  It is a matter of being ready.  I am wondering if I could ever really be ready.  My health is a concern.  A big concern.  Not to mention security.  There are bad dudes in the area.   So, there's that.

It would be a big leap of faith to go soon.  So, if I don't go, does it mean that I am not accomplishing anything of substance, or like what the title says?

Is it just jerking off, then?  What do I really want out of this is key.  Would I be satisfied with moral victories, or is that is being a wanker?

It isn't bothering me, in case anybody is wondering.  Perhaps "success" is in the eye of the beholder.

Well, if you can't take a joke....